My (now) husband proposed a little after New Years in 2019, while we were in Germany visiting my parents for the holidays. In retrospect, I definitely should have known it was coming — I mean, we had our wedding date and venue reserved already, he was dropping hints like crazy, and he kept reminding me not to look through his bag (complete overkill considering I am not the curious type and only open people's bags when specifically asked to!)

Despite all the signs, and the fact that I knew he had spoken with both of my parents individually about us getting married, I was somehow still completely blindsided when he proposed the day before we left. And then I had to figure out how to plan a wedding! Here are my recommendations for next steps after you guys get engaged.

Spend Time Dreaming (and Researching!)

In my personal opinion, this step is one of the most easily overlooked when it comes to wedding planning. Before you get caught up in the crazy, take time to dream and brainstorm together about both your wedding and your marriage! Spend time on Pinterest, in wedding blogs, and with your friends and family who have gotten married recently. What do you like? What do you not like? How does your partner feel about different ideas? (include your partner!!!)

Besides just thinking about what your wedding will look like, make sure to take time to think about what you want it to feel like, and what you want the experience to be like — for your guests, for your close family and friends, for you and your partner. What are your priorities?

Going into my own wedding day, I had two main priorities. I wanted to spend as much time with my husband as possible, and I wanted to get to actually eat our wedding food. I kept hearing stories about brides who didn't get to eat at their own weddings, and I was determined to not be that bride! While our day didn't go perfectly, I was able to get those two top priorities, and so every time I reflect back on our wedding I'm pretty happy with it.

When you're thinking about what your wedding day priorities are, here are some ideas to get you started:

• quality time with specific people. Who do you want to spend your day with and make intentional time for?
• certain vendors: planner, venue, photographer, videographer, florist, hair and makeup artist, officiant, DJ, caterer. Which ones are the most important to you? What is important to you about the kind of vendors you want?
• wedding day experiences: planning activities or adventures, enjoying traditions, reception events, planning surprises or memories that you want captured

Make a Budget

During your researching phase, I recommend spending time looking into average prices for wedding vendors in your area. Costs vary widely depending on your location and your vision! Go back to what your priorities are to decide how to allocate your budget.

While everyone is going to have different recommendations on where to save and where to invest, here are my personal preferences:

Splurge:

• Wedding photography (but you knew I would say that!)
• Florals (I firmly believe that amazing florals can make even the most depressing venue magical)
• Food (it's your wedding. It should be one of the best meals of your life!)

Save:

• HMUA (I don't wear makeup, and only like it when I do my hair)
• Wedding dress (if I could do it again I would have rented a super nice one rather than buy a medium nice one!)
• Venue (I'm a big fan of unconventional venues: libraries, art galleries, and historical buildings are all super cool)

Find a Wedding Planner

Not required to have a perfect wedding day... but highly recommended! Take some of the pressure off yourself and your closest loved ones (aka the ones you want to be spending your day with) and have professional help!

Pick a Date and Book Your Venue

These seem like they should be two separate steps, but they really go hand in hand! Until you have a venue booked, you don't have a wedding date — and until you have a wedding date, it's pretty difficult to get everything else ready!

Schedule Engagement Photos!

Once you have your vision, budget, planner, and wedding date... time to get engagement photos done and start on your wedding invites! Find a photographer who's available for your wedding date, and use your engagement session as an opportunity to get a feel for their shooting, communication, editing, and professionalism.